Today begins a brand new year. A brand new 366 days of possibilities. Last year I wrote a list of goals that I wanted to accomplish. Somehow along the way, I got distracted. Life threw me some curves and I suppose I just wasn’t up to checking off the things on that list. Oh, that’s not to say that I didn’t finish some of them…
Reflecting on 2011, I would say that it might have been a good thing that I got distracted from accomplishing and sticking to the the list. I learned a lot about myself this year. And those things I learned I can take with me into 2012 with arms open and high.
Last year, my little word that I was to carry with me was “bloom”. And while I don’t know if that word really showed me what I expected or willed it to, in some way, I did feel a blooming. Perhaps the blooming only came in my heart opening up, becoming less confined or restricted to the the self-imposed fences built around it.
I look forward, excitedly, to my chosen word for 2012. I feel, in a sense, that this word found me. As with last year, I had a word picked out. It was a good one and would serve me well. But perhaps it wasn’t challenging enough. And in the last few weeks, I’ve found myself finding this new word: Behold. In a blog written about the magi who came to see Jesus, in a writing about one woman’s own search for Jesus, and in this Christmas season, “behold” found me.
I feel, in this last year, that I’ve had my arms straight out, holding everything at arms length and not allowing things (God, Jesus, people, church…really, blessings) to come close to me. As if I were saying, “No, I’m fine with you right there. It’s better, more comfortable with you right there. I’m doing just fine with you right there.” This kind of life was never intended for me, though.
I’m tired of this kind of life. I want to embrace what is given to me, the people, the love, the blessings. I want to behold Jesus. I don’t want to have him waiting on the sidelines for when I need him. I want for Him to be the thing that I need. But mostly, I want to be amazed and in awe of every single thing that comes into my life. I want to relish in the gifts, the blessings, the people. I want to see and feel God in the good and the bad, but not just see…I want to behold.
There seems to be this theme of people throwing the “New Year’s Resolution” out the window. I don’t know exactly what I feel about them, but what I do know is that I want to start fresh. I want to set goals that I can be reminded of throughout the year. I want to meet my own expectations and surpass them, be them great or small. I feel, no matter what the label, we should set goals for ourselves, why not start off the new year with new goals? So what if you didn’t meet them last year, this is a whole brand new year.
My goals:
To be present. In prayer, in my home, in my work, with my friends. I have a habit of thinking forward and sideways, of not embracing…beholding, if you will, the moment I am in.
To cook more and eat out less. I don’t know if this was on the list last year, but it should have been. I used to cook a lot and found great joy in it. But life got busy and freezer meals are so convenient. I want to cook at least 3 good dinners a week.
To buy less Starbucks. *cringe* Oh how I love coffee on the go. But when I went through my expenses and found how much Starbucks shows up on the list, I cringe. That money can be better spent.
To buy less frivolities. I have recently become mildly obsessed with nail polish. The good kind, that doesn’t chip so easily. And, let’s be honest, we all know that one never ever finishes a whole bottle of polish. Yet, I love color and creativity and stylish nails are such an easy way to express. I don’t need any more nail polish though…And I’m sure there are a lot of other things that I purchase and don’t really need. My goal with spending this year is to be more intentional.
To color more, listen to guitar more, and go outside more. These are all things that my kids are interested in. My youngest is obsessed with coloring and art and crafting. My oldest is quickly becoming a great guitar player and my middle loves all things outdoors. I need to be in this with them, even when I don’t feel like it. I know in my heart it lifts them up and encourages them and feeds their spirits when someone they love shows interest in what they love themselves. I will do this more.
To be in the Word every single day. I’m setting my alarm for 6 am and taking the first hour of my day to be present with God. I know, because of my tendencies, that if I don’t get it done early in the day, it just won’t happen. I get distracted, busy, and by 9 pm, I’m ready to cozy up in my bed for some shut eye. It must be done first thing every morning and I am committing to use the Lectio Divina system of prayer/quiet time. I’ve done it in the past using this book, and have found that the meditation aspect of reflecting on the words, the moments, the passage really help my fast paced mind.
To be less reactive. As I have said in the past, I generally ponder over words and situations and people before coming to a conclusion about something. Last year there were several times when I was made aware of certain situations involving people, who I love and care about and hold to high esteem, that would cause one to do a quick take. The unfortunate thing of it, whether true or false, I was only hearing one side of the story. One cannot make a true decision/conclusion based on a one-sided story. But my loyal heart hurt, was turned inside out and became confused. This year, I resolve to not cast a judgement in my heart and to trust that God is in complete control.
To praise and encourage more. A few weeks ago, someone who I admire greatly came to me and said that he appreciated me and how I am using my gifts for God. He said that it makes his heart so happy. I don’t know if he’ll ever know how much those words mean to me. It was such a great feeling to know that I mattered. I want this for other people. I want to encourage people, to let them know that what they are doing matters. Whether it’s my kids, husband, neighbor…Everyone should know that they are on this globe for a purpose and that who they are matters.
To 365. Last year I started it. I think I got to February before I lost the joy. But I am not going to let that happen because I am going to do it on my iPhone this year. I have fallen in love with my iPhone camera and since it’s always with me, I really have no excuse
To journal more. But not just journal prayers, to answer questions, ask questions, and ponder. I really love learning about what makes me who I am. I love diving in and really thinking and knowing about why I do what I do and how I do it. I want to know more.
This seems like a long list, but the best thing about it is that all of these are attainable. In order to make sure that I stick to certain ones, I am asking certain people to hold me accountable because I know that I will be challenged and having someone help hold me up will be so beneficial.
So, what are your goals for 2012?
by Christie
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